Can We Really Protect Kids?
by Raven
The view I am about to express may not sit well with parental units, who believe children must, at any cost, be protected from the unpleasantries and realities of the journey we call 'life'.
Delivery systems exist for one reason; and, that is to get the music, the games, and the porn to the buyer, the consumer. When it was announced that mobile porn was one of the future's bounty, webmasters and financiers were ecstatic. Here was another opening, a delivery system by which porn could be placed in the hands of the over 18 crowd, the ones with credit cards. Venture capital has flowed, so those who can, will ensure anyone over 18 will be able to directly bill to their phone, watch porn, masturbate, share with friends. The possibilities for advertising and spam are endless. And, profitable. Sony Playstation and Microsoft XBox offer systems for gamers. Each generation of gaming devices offers more and more bells and whistles. The software developers increasingly push the 'violence' button, as the games portray stark and ugly realisim. Now, there's news that porn can be viewed on PSP's and XBox's. To those of us in the know, this comes as no surprise. Big money in porn. The more highways built to get the porn to the consumer, the more money there is to be generated. Now that we live in an increasingly mobil society, marketing research has uncovered the fantastic news that the target market is buying (in vast numbers)cell phones, iPods, Playstations and Xboxes. Huge conglomerates are putting vast amounts of money to get porn to the people.
BUT. There's a catch. And, it's a HUGE catch. The very same buyers who are targeted to receive porn in vast quantities, include children. Herein lies the rub. How does one protect the children? This is an age-old question, starting with the computer that lives in most homes. Parents are purchasing gaming stations and cell phones and iPods for their children. The number of kids with cell phones is staggering. A great majority of homes have at least one of the popular gaming stations and many have mp3 players. The very problem that has plagued the adult industry with the Internet has now moved to other areas.
Personally, and this is most definitely a personal opinion....children cannot be protected from porn. We try. Warning pages, ICRA, labels, electronic signature and birth date software -- those of us who feel responsible for keeping kids off our sites are making a brave attempt to stem the tide. The Internet, however, has no boundaries. There are no fences, no locked doors, no way to keep the underaged off of our sites and away from that which they are too young to see. On the other side of the coin, there are too many kids who 'borrow' credit cards, learn how to hack into sites, go onto MySpace type sites and trade 'dirty' pictures. Seemingly, explicit porn cannot be stopped, and the expectation that children can be protected, even with the most diligent of parental guidance, is akin to using toilet paper to plug a dam.
Going back to the days of print mags, I hear stories of boys finding their father's dirty rags, from Playboy to Penthouse to Hustler. Kids have been reaching puberty, which is accompanied by raging hormones, since the days of primitive erotic art on cave walls, compelling boys and girls to search out and find the very thing we're trying to prevent them from finding. Clever are the children whose need to masturbate transcends law and societal protection.
Is there an answer? Certainly, the government knows little to nothing about how the Internet works. More importantly, from a psycho-social view, the government and parents continue to deny the existence of hormonal growth of young lads and ladies who are so curious, they are willing to risk the wrath of parents and legislative officials. Parents have shown their own particular brand of ignorance because they actually believe the government should and can step up to the plate to stop the nasty pornographers from creating websites that show nudity and/or hardcore sex images.
I'm here to tell you it cannot be stopped. Not by the government and not by parents, especially the ones who do not have a clue about computers, iPod podcasting, Xboxes, and Playstations. The cry for help is loud and clear. There just aren't any clear answers, other than throwing out the televisions that show late night porn ads. What parent can resist buying their children a gaming device? Mothers and fathers who work want their children within some soft of reach; hence, the reason young kids are receiving cell phones. i-Pods are so popular, along with other mp3 players. So, what is a parent to do?
Educate. Life is filled with trauma.... from the time we are born until we die. Preparing children for what they will experience, see, and hear is essential -- or the child will never be prepared for the seamier side of life. Instead of hiding it, legislating against it, or playing ostrich, parents simply must educate themselves first and then teach their children coping mechanisms for when they run across their first porn site. Put the computer in the living room and watch your child. The same day you teach your young son not to play with his dick in public is the day you teach your kids there are places they are not quite ready to see. But, if they should see a porn site, rather than react hysterically, calling for government intervention, take the mystery out of porn. Talk about it in a way that prepares the kid. Teach your child how to surf in a responsible way. Instead of pretending cruelty, degradation, visually explicit images, and other life changing situations don't exist, make sure your child knows the world is not just another pretty face. There ARE traumatic events that WILL occur, sooner than anyone wants. There ARE events we do not ever want our children to see; but, they will and we have no control over when it will happen, just like no one can really predict death. We simply cannot control what others do. We are fortunate if the toothpaste we desire is in stock. Safety is an illusion. Rather than continue to delude ourselves that we can keep our children safe, teach them that trauma does, indeed, exist, that there are people out there, putting enhancers into products to make children eat more, there are pharmaceutical companies who push pills that turn our kids into zombies, AND there are major conglomerates who are turning innocent looking games into pornographic adventures, who will fund the adult industry with large sums of money to deliver porn to a target audience that happens to include kids. There is no possible way to prevent. There IS, however, the responsibility to teach. One house at a time. Go to any webmaster conference/convention. We constantly share stories about our friends who have no clue, so we give them clues. WE give our friends and families the answers as to how to deal with filters and anti-spam software. WE are the ones who have come up with ways to monitor our children. If we can do it with our own kids, we can teach others on a grass roots level. That's our responsibility to our children and their friends. That is how we sleep at night, knowing what we know and sharing the information.
Self-delusion and ostrich behaviour will not work. Children are sexual creatures and WILL discover sex a lot sooner than any parent wants. Deal with what is, not what should be. Reality dictates that we prepare our children for adulthood, not prevent them from coping with what we know is down the road.
As I stated earlier, this is my opinion. It's not a very popular one and I can see why. When a child has to experience ugliness or pain or violence or disruptions to the idyllic innocence we call childhood, we as parents, cringe. I don't want anything to touch my child that might make him or her cry. I never want my child to see a dead body or smell a dying person or watch a video that is sexually explicit. There is a part of me who wants to lock my kid up, put blinders on, move to an island, build a wall around my home....but, the sane part of me knows that's not the answer. My child will see the nastiness of life. He will hear things that are unpleasant. Death comes to all of us. There is no prevention and damned little control....the only tool I have is the ability to influence before someone else does and hope that my words, my teachings have enough resonance that he realises I give him, at the very least, truth.
Raven
Financial Consultant
ICQ: 27331641
Email: raven at sin-text dot com
The view I am about to express may not sit well with parental units, who believe children must, at any cost, be protected from the unpleasantries and realities of the journey we call 'life'.
Delivery systems exist for one reason; and, that is to get the music, the games, and the porn to the buyer, the consumer. When it was announced that mobile porn was one of the future's bounty, webmasters and financiers were ecstatic. Here was another opening, a delivery system by which porn could be placed in the hands of the over 18 crowd, the ones with credit cards. Venture capital has flowed, so those who can, will ensure anyone over 18 will be able to directly bill to their phone, watch porn, masturbate, share with friends. The possibilities for advertising and spam are endless. And, profitable. Sony Playstation and Microsoft XBox offer systems for gamers. Each generation of gaming devices offers more and more bells and whistles. The software developers increasingly push the 'violence' button, as the games portray stark and ugly realisim. Now, there's news that porn can be viewed on PSP's and XBox's. To those of us in the know, this comes as no surprise. Big money in porn. The more highways built to get the porn to the consumer, the more money there is to be generated. Now that we live in an increasingly mobil society, marketing research has uncovered the fantastic news that the target market is buying (in vast numbers)cell phones, iPods, Playstations and Xboxes. Huge conglomerates are putting vast amounts of money to get porn to the people.
BUT. There's a catch. And, it's a HUGE catch. The very same buyers who are targeted to receive porn in vast quantities, include children. Herein lies the rub. How does one protect the children? This is an age-old question, starting with the computer that lives in most homes. Parents are purchasing gaming stations and cell phones and iPods for their children. The number of kids with cell phones is staggering. A great majority of homes have at least one of the popular gaming stations and many have mp3 players. The very problem that has plagued the adult industry with the Internet has now moved to other areas.
Personally, and this is most definitely a personal opinion....children cannot be protected from porn. We try. Warning pages, ICRA, labels, electronic signature and birth date software -- those of us who feel responsible for keeping kids off our sites are making a brave attempt to stem the tide. The Internet, however, has no boundaries. There are no fences, no locked doors, no way to keep the underaged off of our sites and away from that which they are too young to see. On the other side of the coin, there are too many kids who 'borrow' credit cards, learn how to hack into sites, go onto MySpace type sites and trade 'dirty' pictures. Seemingly, explicit porn cannot be stopped, and the expectation that children can be protected, even with the most diligent of parental guidance, is akin to using toilet paper to plug a dam.
Going back to the days of print mags, I hear stories of boys finding their father's dirty rags, from Playboy to Penthouse to Hustler. Kids have been reaching puberty, which is accompanied by raging hormones, since the days of primitive erotic art on cave walls, compelling boys and girls to search out and find the very thing we're trying to prevent them from finding. Clever are the children whose need to masturbate transcends law and societal protection.
Is there an answer? Certainly, the government knows little to nothing about how the Internet works. More importantly, from a psycho-social view, the government and parents continue to deny the existence of hormonal growth of young lads and ladies who are so curious, they are willing to risk the wrath of parents and legislative officials. Parents have shown their own particular brand of ignorance because they actually believe the government should and can step up to the plate to stop the nasty pornographers from creating websites that show nudity and/or hardcore sex images.
I'm here to tell you it cannot be stopped. Not by the government and not by parents, especially the ones who do not have a clue about computers, iPod podcasting, Xboxes, and Playstations. The cry for help is loud and clear. There just aren't any clear answers, other than throwing out the televisions that show late night porn ads. What parent can resist buying their children a gaming device? Mothers and fathers who work want their children within some soft of reach; hence, the reason young kids are receiving cell phones. i-Pods are so popular, along with other mp3 players. So, what is a parent to do?
Educate. Life is filled with trauma.... from the time we are born until we die. Preparing children for what they will experience, see, and hear is essential -- or the child will never be prepared for the seamier side of life. Instead of hiding it, legislating against it, or playing ostrich, parents simply must educate themselves first and then teach their children coping mechanisms for when they run across their first porn site. Put the computer in the living room and watch your child. The same day you teach your young son not to play with his dick in public is the day you teach your kids there are places they are not quite ready to see. But, if they should see a porn site, rather than react hysterically, calling for government intervention, take the mystery out of porn. Talk about it in a way that prepares the kid. Teach your child how to surf in a responsible way. Instead of pretending cruelty, degradation, visually explicit images, and other life changing situations don't exist, make sure your child knows the world is not just another pretty face. There ARE traumatic events that WILL occur, sooner than anyone wants. There ARE events we do not ever want our children to see; but, they will and we have no control over when it will happen, just like no one can really predict death. We simply cannot control what others do. We are fortunate if the toothpaste we desire is in stock. Safety is an illusion. Rather than continue to delude ourselves that we can keep our children safe, teach them that trauma does, indeed, exist, that there are people out there, putting enhancers into products to make children eat more, there are pharmaceutical companies who push pills that turn our kids into zombies, AND there are major conglomerates who are turning innocent looking games into pornographic adventures, who will fund the adult industry with large sums of money to deliver porn to a target audience that happens to include kids. There is no possible way to prevent. There IS, however, the responsibility to teach. One house at a time. Go to any webmaster conference/convention. We constantly share stories about our friends who have no clue, so we give them clues. WE give our friends and families the answers as to how to deal with filters and anti-spam software. WE are the ones who have come up with ways to monitor our children. If we can do it with our own kids, we can teach others on a grass roots level. That's our responsibility to our children and their friends. That is how we sleep at night, knowing what we know and sharing the information.
Self-delusion and ostrich behaviour will not work. Children are sexual creatures and WILL discover sex a lot sooner than any parent wants. Deal with what is, not what should be. Reality dictates that we prepare our children for adulthood, not prevent them from coping with what we know is down the road.
As I stated earlier, this is my opinion. It's not a very popular one and I can see why. When a child has to experience ugliness or pain or violence or disruptions to the idyllic innocence we call childhood, we as parents, cringe. I don't want anything to touch my child that might make him or her cry. I never want my child to see a dead body or smell a dying person or watch a video that is sexually explicit. There is a part of me who wants to lock my kid up, put blinders on, move to an island, build a wall around my home....but, the sane part of me knows that's not the answer. My child will see the nastiness of life. He will hear things that are unpleasant. Death comes to all of us. There is no prevention and damned little control....the only tool I have is the ability to influence before someone else does and hope that my words, my teachings have enough resonance that he realises I give him, at the very least, truth.
Raven
Financial Consultant
ICQ: 27331641
Email: raven at sin-text dot com
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